Five months since I last posted on ensem-BLAH, the last topic I wrote about was the incredibly inspiring Isabella Blow Fashion Galore Exhibition, held at Somerset House, curated by the brilliant Daphne Guinness. Whilst walking amongst the garments and beautiful headwear created by industry mentors Alexander McQueen, Philip Treacy and many, many, more I felt this urge of envy as I gazed upon their artistic expression. I felt my heart sink deeper into my body as I grew frustrated that this creative energy I have was not being used.
In a job that I thoroughly enjoyed and a company that has been by far the best I have ever worked for. An establishment with over 100 years of experience and knowledge, in retail, that I was reaping on a weekly basis. I was working for an in house label that had being grown from just cashmere jumpers to a leading brand amongst competitors that are the fashion world greats. I was inspired yet again by the energies that went into driving this forward however found that envy feeling creep in when designers were executing their artist ability. If anything I discovered that I was incredibly jealous of people who were doing what they wanted to do or at least working towards what they wanted to do.
Living in Kent and having to commute to London on a daily basis the travel added an extra cost to my dream of working in the fashion industry amongst overwhelming talents and inspiring people. I had to have a second job. The second job started at my old place of work, former manager, now I was a waiter. A step back but I felt when confronted with that remark..."you are back...why?" I would attack it with honesty and simply say..."I need the extra money." Then I would proudly mention where I worked because I was proud of it and enjoyed the environment thoroughly.
The owner of Mu Mu, the restaurant I am working in, decided to open another restaurant above the existing one and call it Madame Mu Mu. A cabaret restaurant with an atmosphere of decadence and an abundant amount of eccentricity. He would want a Drag Queen called Madame Mu Mu who will host and be the personality of the premises.
My time in drag all started back in 2009 with a Halloween dress up night when I decided to dress as Doctor Frank 'n Furter from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. On this night comments were passed and a memory stored that would one day assist me later on in life.
He asked me to do it and I would start out on a much better wage for doing what I do best...being myself. It was a way to express my creative side, following the waves and feel for the place I started to create Madame Mu Mu. I told my then boss, another inspiring being, and chose to keep it on the down low given the fact I worked in such a traditional co-operate environment. It all started November 2012 and it just spiralled. My money went up and I started to be the in house DJ. I must admit, the worlds worst DJ.
Juggling my time between my full time job in London, working in Buying and Product Development and being a Drag Queen, I found yet another frustration...not been able to have time to execute enough creative energy as time was something I didn't have. Not only that but I didn't have enough time to be with the man that has supported me through so much, Mister Rob.
We started hosting Burlesque evenings and always up for a laugh, I stared compeering with a natural, off the cuff banter, ad lib, with the audience which eventually leaded into me doing my first ever burlesque striptease. Having gathered my garments, sweaty holdups and underwear, I returned back stage to be met with a comment that would start the ball rolling and allow me to execute this creative energy bring sketches to life. I couldn't believe it and started many a restless night and day dreaming moments before I even started giving each job equal consideration.
Should I leave behind a career that I worked so hard for and was good at for the luxury of working 2 days a week, (8 days a month), as a Drag Queen or give up being a Drag Queen to focus on a job that could really have taken me places. I seeked so many peoples advice and so many people said..."do it, take the jump." I was so scared as any normal human being would be but I had to reassure myself that if I took that offer and followed my dream I would not be losing out only gaining something. That something was time, we are all so short of it and here I was faced with it. Time to be able to focus working on an idea that I had when I was back in Junior School, Barwick School, Zimbabwe, of having a label called Julian Garner. My middle name and surname.
I decided to take the jump and nervously handed in my notice to an establishment where I gained so much education and worked with an overwhelming amount of talented people. It was a sad occasion and remember after a phone call from a dear colleague , in accounts payable, the tears began rolling. It was later followed by a gorgeous leaving present and drinks in the hustle and bustle of SOHO!
The 28th of February was my last day and I felt so torn between a rock and a hard place and whether or not I was making a mistake or doing the right thing. A very inspiring person, after asking him, if I was doing the right thing his answer was simple..."I don't know." An answer with so much depth too but also confirmation that the only person who could answer that was myself.
I know I can do it but I just need to constantly reassure myself that all good things take time. Creating a label is not going to happen overnight. Where does one start? Slowly but surely things are coming together however having not sold anything I still have a job that pays for a living and most importantly time. If one thing life has taught me is that time, really is of the essence.
So my journey begins. In July I will begin a course in the beautiful Art of Millinery. An art that is so expressive and requires the full imagination in order to push boundaries and create a name attached with quality. Having self trained myself so far I have set up my website for the Headwear I have created. Check it out:
I am slowly but surely putting together my studio and working on future ideas that will create collections that one day I hope to see amongst, industry mentors such as Phillip Treacy and Stephen Jones, the crowds of Ascot and many a beautiful event where Headwear is essential to complete a the clients look.
As the great Isabella Blow said;
"I don't uses a hat as a prop. I use it as a part of me."
So many days are yet to unravel in front of me and yet that feeling of envy, nerves, wanting, needing, waiting (alright Madonna) still haunt me yet guide that passion I have to create something I have longed for so many years. I have decided to document my journey of an up hill climb that I am undertaking as a way to look back on and appreciate why I started this in the first place.
Here goes...
xoxo
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